Capítulo 2: The Ogre and the Bard

I like using spellcasters such as the Wizard and the Cleric. I have already tried the Bard and I confess that I didn’t enjoy it that much. Sure it is a very useful Class and all, but it just isn’t the type of Class that I enjoy playing with. I guess that I have never fully understood the power of music. Or maybe I have…

This is a story about a Bard. It could be any Bard. Look his name doesn’t matter. Why are you being so troublesome? You want a name? Fine. His name was Bard. That’s right. A Bard named Bard. Happy?

Well, Bard was just walking in the woods. He liked doing that. He usually said to people that you could find inspiration in the woods. People would then pretend to agree with him and think that he just wanted to see the naked fairies.

And that was actually true. He liked seeing naked fairies. Who wouldn’t? Unfortunately for him he had never found a naked fairy.

But he was a patience man, our Bard was. It should never be said that he was a quitter. He was a backstabbing bastard and a boring man, but not a quitter.

Alas poor Bard wasn’t also very lucky. Instead of a naked fairy, the poor Bard had found an Ogre.

“Buahh! Me eat you, puny sissy person-thingy!” – growled the Ogre.

“Ahhhh! A blue Ogre!” – cried Bard.

“Me not blue...”

“Sorry... I am colour-blind...”

“That’s okay... You won’t be for long!”

So this was it. His first random encounter. He had heard about these strange occurrences. And he had already formulated a dashing plan. Bard picked up his Magical Harp.

“What’s that?” – asked the Ogre.

The Bard started playing his Magical Harp. It was show time!

"Love is a many splendored thing
Love lifts us up where we belong
All you need is love" – sang the Bard.

The huge monster couldn’t help but feel confused. Why was the puny human singing? And why were his lips moving on their own free will?

"Please don't start that again" – sang the Ogre.

"All you need is love"

"A girl has got to eat"

"All you need is love"

"She'll end up on the street"

"All you need is love"

"Love is just a game"

"I was made for loving you baby
You were made for loving me"

"The only way of loving me baby
Is to pay a lovely fee"

The Bard looked at the Ogre and the monster winked at him. There was true romance in the air. You could definitely smell it. By the way, according to a recent study on the subject true romance smells like a mixture of chocolate and whisky.

"We could steal time
Just for one day
We can be heroes
Forever and ever
We can be heroes
Forever and ever
We can be heroes"

Both the Ogre and the Bard sang as loud as they could manage:

"Just because I, and I will always love you"

The monster closed her eyes and sang sweetly:

"How wonderful life is now
You're in the world"

Ahhhh! It had been a nice song. Anyway it was lunch time.

“That was nice... Huhhh... Where is puny human-thingy?” – thought the Ogre.

She was still able to spot Bard running away, but he was already too far away for her to catch the bastard.

“Sniff... Men... They are just earth-thingy...” – mumbled the Ogre.